Today’s Question and Answer

Question 75

Q:

My husband lost his job recently and spiraled into despair.

He began drinking again, something he did before we were married. We have two small children and I’m scared for them and for our future. I can’t talk to my husband because he says he has it under control, then he gets angry and defensive. What should I do?

Asked by: Karen

A:

Karen my heart goes out to you, and I’m hoping that our entire audience prays now on your behalf.

What you need to do is to tell your husband that you’re going to confide in some friends about his drinking problem. He’s going to become angry, he’s going to become defensive, and I can say that because I’ve dealt with alcoholics, but you have to do it.

Something you need to understand is that he won’t change until there’s pressure. You know, sometimes it’s said that people don’t change until they see the light, but that’s not true. They don’t change until they feel the heat. So what you need to do is to show him some really tough love.

Also enlist some people to pray for you and get some wise counsel. Go to your pastor or a counselor and find out what it is that you should really do in this situation. You know, your husband can be helped, and I pray that he shall be. But I think that you’re at a very critical time because people who begin to find their comfort in drink usually keep going in that direction. Alcoholism is a curse. And your husband needs to be confronted with this reality as soon as possible.

God will help you, Karen, to do what you need to do—He’ll be there with you all the way.

Author: Dr. Erwin W. Lutzer