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Question 194

Q: I’m a single lady (with no children) who has a sexual partner.  I do not feel close to God and have no peace.

I’m ready to turn my life around, but I’m having a hard time releasing that spirit of lust. I need help on how to defeat this so God will be pleased with me and dwell within me. I don’t want to disappoint Him anymore.  

Asked by: Shelly

A: Thank you so much for writing to me and for asking that very, very important question.

I’m glad that your conscience can no longer continue in sin. You said that you are willing to turn your life around. That is wonderful, but it’s going to be difficult, because the spirit of lust may be very, very deep and it may be very difficult for you to let go of a relationship no matter how sinful it is.

So I have a couple of thoughts. First of all, it is so important that you realize you cannot do this alone. You know I was born on the farm, way out in Canada, and I remember one of our horses walked into a slew. You’re acquainted with that word, it’s a small pond, but it’s dirty water and it has high weeds. He walked in alone, but he couldn’t get out alone, and that’s the way the pit of sin is. We can fall into sin alone, we don’t need any help, but we need help to get out, because you are going to be too weak to be able to get out of this yourself.

You need to go to two or three friends in whom you have confidence, and you need to pray with them. You need to tell them that they are going to hold you accountable, and no matter how strong the temptation is, you are going to resist it with their help and with their sense of accountability toward you.

Secondly, it’s so important that you begin some healthy relationships, going to church, reading the Word. You need to understand the meaning of deep repentance, where you really realize that this was very serious, and that you were deceived during that time where you had this immoral relationship—all that becomes a part of it. And don’t ever think that you’ll get to a point where you’ll never be tempted in this area again, because you will be. But what you need to do is to cut off all possibility of going back, not only back to that relationship, but cut off all the possibilities of going into another relationship.

It’s going to be a struggle, but God will be honored, and finally your conscience will be clear.

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