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Question 40

Q: I received the Lord in 1968 and trusted Him to change my life but nothing happened.

I kept going to church. I prayed and fasted to see if I could somehow change, but I was just the same sinner.

At one point I had a powerful temptation to say curses against the Holy Spirit. I fought these thoughts for about a year and many times I went up to the altar of my church asking for deliverance, but nothing changed me. One day, sitting at home, I said some bad words to the Holy Spirit. Immediately I asked God to help me because I didn’t mean to say something like that.

Two years ago I started fasting and renounced every evil thing that was in my life; thoughts of fornication and adultery were always hounding me.

I feel scared. I’ve been asking God for His mercy and forgiveness but He’s not answering, so maybe I am lost forever.

Asked by: Angel, Ohio

A: Angel, I’m so glad that you wrote to me because I think I have hope for you.

I don’t think for a moment that you committed the unpardonable sin. If you had, you wouldn’t be writing to me and asking about it. You wouldn’t have been fasting and praying, seeking God for forgiveness and cleansing. That in itself is proof that God is working in your heart.

If you’re still concerned about the unpardonable sin, let me point out that it was a sin that was committed by the nation Israel when Christ was here on Earth. The people who commit it today have hardened their souls in unbelief and don’t want anything to do with God. Angel, you don’t fit into that category because you really do love God, and you desire to come to saving faith, and I’m sure that you’ve done that.

God has not abandoned you and, as I often point out, there are people who are genuinely saved even though they doubt it, and particularly if they’ve had a very difficult and sinful past.

So I want to give you hope. I want you to renounce Satan. You know it says in the book of Revelation, “They overcame him by the word of their testimony and by the blood of the Lamb.”

Always remember that salvation is not based on our performance; nor is it a matter of whether we are big sinners or lesser ones, the righteousness of Christ is applied equally to all who believe in Him. We come to Him based on the blood and sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf. A dirty path and a well-kept one look both alike when a foot of snow covers them. Today, accept that special covering from Jesus, the gift of His righteousness. 

When I go to board an airplane, nobody asks me how I’m feeling, or whether I’m a big sinner or a little sinner. What they want to know is whether or not I have the ticket. In the very same way, the issue is not whether our sins were big or little, the issue is whether or not we’ve trusted Christ and His matchless grace. Of course, it’s much better to be a lesser sinner than a greater one, but at the end of the day, it’s Christ that makes all the difference.

I pray that God will take you to the next step and grant you the wonderful gift of assurance through His word and by the Spirit.

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